Don’t Be the Stinky Guy (and 9 Other White Belt Sins)
Nobody hands you a rulebook with your white belt. Your coach teaches you how to shrimp, how to frame and how to tap. What they don't teach you, because it's awkward or because they assume you already know, is how not to be the person everyone quietly avoids at open mat.
So here it is. Consider this your rulebook.
1. Wash your gear. Every. Single. Time.
Gi, rashguard, shorts, spats: all of it goes in the wash after every class. Not "it doesn't smell that bad." Not tomorrow. Today. And don't let it marinate in your gym bag in a hot car. That's how you grow a science experiment.
Even clean gear eventually hangs onto funk. That's where white vinegar comes in. Once a month (once a quarter at the bare minimum), soak your gear in cold water with about a cup of white vinegar for 30 to 60 minutes, then run a normal wash and hang it to dry. The vinegar breaks down the bacteria and detergent buildup a regular wash leaves behind. Your partners won't know why you smell so good. They'll just be grateful.
2. Wash your ass before class
It's sad that this needs to be said. Shower before you come to class. Yes, even if you're coming straight from work. Yes, even if time is tight.
Any coach worth their salt would rather have a clean student who walks in five minutes late than an on-time student who smells like eight hours in a warehouse.
3. No bare feet off the mat
The mat is where you go barefoot. The bathroom, the lobby and the parking lot are not the mat. Every barefoot step off the mat picks up whatever's on that floor and carries it right back onto the surface where your teammates put their faces.
Wear slides. (We sell some. Just saying.)
4. Cut your nails. All of them.
Fingers and toes. Short. Nobody wants to roll with a velociraptor. Long nails tear skin, catch eyes and open the door to infection (see #5). Check them before every class.
5. Don't hide skin issues
Staph is serious, for you and for everyone you roll with. Ringworm spreads fast on a mat. If you've got a weird spot, a rash or anything that looks infected, stay off the mat and get it looked at.
And no, I do not care that some guy on YouTube said manuka honey will heal it. Go to the freaking doctor. Protect yourself and your teammates.
Not sure what you're looking at? Ask a coach. They know what staph and ringworm look like, and they'd much rather check your arm than clean up an outbreak.
6. Do not DM her after the roll
Do not slide into the DMs of the girl from class to thank her for the roll. It's creepy. She is going to tell everyone. Honestly, I'd almost rather you be the stinky guy.
Want to say thanks? Do it on the mat. Fist bump, "good roll," done.
7. Introduce yourself
Talk to people. Learn names. For most of us, the mats are our third place: not home, not work, but the place we actually want to be. Stick around after class, show up to open mat, and say hi to the new person who looks as lost as you did on day one.
You will make lifelong friends here if you let yourself.
8. Put some shorts on
Controversial opinion: don't show up in just spats. Nobody wants to see your little friend. Throw a pair of shorts over them and everybody wins.
9. Shut up during instruction
When your coach is talking, close your lips. It's hard enough to project to a whole room without a loud conversation about your boss or your baby mama going on in the back row. Save it for the water break.
10. Have fun
This is a sport, not a fight. Yes, you'll learn skills that could be used in a fight. But at the end of the day, that's not (entirely) what it's about.
It's about getting a little better every class, getting smashed and laughing about it, and ending up in a room where you're friends with a CEO, a 16-year-old phenom and a grandma, all at once.
Welcome to the mats. Now go wash your gi.
